October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day and the entire month of October is set aside to bring awareness and recognition to those little lives that were lost too quickly. Our courageous team of Sister Site Owners and Contributors are sharing the stories of their babies who will be forever loved and never forgotten.
Alamo City ::
Pregnancy Loss: You Are Not Alone My Friend
October is known for being Breast Cancer Awareness month, but do you know that it’s also National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month? In 1988, then-President Ronald Reagan declared October a month to honor those who have lost children. Alamo City Moms Blog is honored to bring you a three-day series of stories from moms who have suffered the pain of losing a child. Our goal is to let you know that if you are grieving or have experienced a similar loss, you are not alone.
Austin ::
Coping With Miscarriage
I’ve always wanted a big family. I can remember day dreaming in high school about marrying the man of my dreams and having 4 children, 3 boys and 1 girl. I can’t explain why at the ripe age of 16 that’s what I was dreaming about, but I was. I’m blessed beyond measure to have the man of my dreams as my husband. Adding 2 beautiful boys to the mix honestly made me whole. In simple terms, my life is complete even if I’m missing ½ of that once 16 year old day dream.
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I Am The Face. I Am 1 In 4.
Today is October 15th. It seems like an ordinary day (other than the fact that it’s a Monday and the start of what looks like a very long week). But today is a day where we remember those children who we lost — from a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirth, birth defects, SIDS and many other causes. October 15th is officially called Pregnancy and Infant Remembrance Day.
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Burlington VT ::
A Story Of Loss :: The Life and Death of Baby Matthias
A mother is impatiently counting down the days until her due date. Her belly protrudes to unbelievable proportions and vigorous kicking keeps her awake at night. Sometimes her husband can feel the kicking on his back as they lay next to each other in bed. A little corner of their room has been lovingly arranged with a bassinet, soft blankets, tiny clothes folded tenderly in a drawer. Everything is ready for the new baby and the anticipation is getting hard to bear!
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How I Became A Mother: Story of Loss and Love
Being a mom is the greatest thing that has happened to me, but becoming a mom was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. There was a time when I wondered if I’d be able to be a mom. As a childhood cancer survivor, I worried that my body was “damaged” and that the treatments I received would make conceiving difficult, but doctors assured me that everything was fine.
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Coping With Pregnancy Loss
Recently my husband and two children went for a walk with our dog at Red Rocks Park in South Burlington. The path was littered with golden leaves, and more were still drifting slowly down from the treetops like a light snow. My 1 and 3 year old toddled ahead of us after our dog as my husband and I walked side by side. It was perfect. Then, I recalled another walk at Red Rocks with my husband in the spring of 2009. Our dog had trotted between us, in perfect step, sensing our heartbreak. We had just experienced the death of our first baby.
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Cincinnati ::
Mama of Four :: Experience of Miscarriage
I remember the blissful state of shock and excitement I felt, upon learning I was pregnant, like it was yesterday. My stomach still literally flutters when I think about it. I also remember just as strongly the soul crushing numbness that followed a short month later when I was told that the baby did not look as big as it should for its gestational age and the heartbeat was too faint. I walked around in a daze for the next two weeks waiting to miscarry and still clinging to the hope that the doctor was somehow wrong.
Columbia SC ::
A Columbia SC Moms Guide To Resources Available During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
Everyone seems to know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Pink ribbons, pink products, pink everything proclaims it, along with fundraising runs and corny pranks on Facebook. It affects a lot of people and is worthy of remembrance. What many people don’t know, though, is that since 1988, October has also been recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
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Helping Your Child Through Loss
Loss is a part of life. Most people have figured this out by adulthood and developed the skills necessary to navigate the rough waters of loss and find their way to the other side. But when a child is confronted with loss, it is a different experience. Children often lack the cognitive ability to understand the permanence of death. They can have a hard time seeing the loss apart from themselves and may assign themselves blame where none is due. Along with this, they can be deeply impacted by the emotions of those closest to them.
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Naomi’s Circle: The Legacy of A Baby Born To Heaven
I sat in the kitchen at my laptop, determined to find help. While my one-year-old daughter played in our living room, I grimly typed “pregnancy loss support Columbia SC” in my Google search box and pressed the Enter key… Over a month earlier, nearly nineteen weeks pregnant with my second child, I had been rushed to the hospital with severe abdominal pains. Over the course of the next two days, a raging infection spread, eventually killing our unborn baby, and threatening my life as well. I miscarried her the morning of Monday, March 9, 2009, and she was absolutely beautiful. Eight inches long, perfectly formed down to her tiny fingernails. We named her Naomi Faith. We marveled over her, took pictures, held her … and then said good-bye.
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Dallas ::
SIDS: A Topic I Wish I Knew Nothing About
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome aka SIDS was a problem people USED to deal with…kind of like AIDS, right? At least that was MY perception with my first pregnancy back in 2007. It was a nice surprise pregnancy for my husband and I after 4+ years of marriage. We were excited and terrified all at the same time. Anyone been there?!?! As first time parents, we read a lot of books, attended child birth and child rearing classes, and thought we had this parenting thing figured out before our little girl even entered the world! Now looking back, I have to admit that I was naive and horribly unaware of all that can go wrong.
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I Had A Miscarriage
I write a lot about the four children I had in a timespan of five years. But, there is one child that I have never written about. That’s the one I never met. The one I miscarried four years ago, today. It was early in my pregnancy. I found out a few days before Christmas that I was pregnant and, wow, was I excited. We wanted more children and I couldn’t wait to add a third baby to our brood. Family was in town for the holidays and, although I originally thought I’d have a doctor confirm the pregnancy before making an announcement, I couldn’t help but explode with the good news.
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Des Moines ::
SIDS Awareness: Sarah’s Story
It was a nightmare before Christmas, 7 years ago. Mom and I were putting together Christmas cookie plates. Sarah, my 3-month-old daughter, was sleeping soundly in Mom’s room while my 2-year-old son was sleeping in another. “Where’s the ribbon?” I asked Mom. “In my bedroom closet.” she replied. Very quietly, I sneaked into the room to get the ribbon. I glanced over to check on Sarah and found her face down. My heart held still as I turned her head, hoping she was okay. I noticed her face was discolored. My heart sank deeper, choking every rational thought out of my head. I lifted her limp body, observing her, but only knew to scream for Mom.
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Miscarriage: The Bad and The Better
Five years ago, I joined a camp of mothers that I had assumed I’d never join. It was a camp that many of my friends—even my sister and my own mom—were already in, yet I had understood it little because I hadn’t been there… until I was there…. Miscarriage. It had been a subject I didn’t want to touch. Women close to me had suffered it, some of them more than once, but I had kept myself distanced—not because I didn’t care but because I didn’t understand. I had no idea what miscarriage is like until it happened to me.
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Remembering Ande Lynn and Other Babies Lost Too Soon
October 15. This day didn’t always mean something to me. And there was a time when I wished it still didn’t. When the pain was still raw. The memory, fresh. The loss, new. Six years later, this day—Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day—is a welcome reminder. An excuse to remember the babe I loved and lost way too soon. We named him—or her—Ande Lynn.
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Iowa City ::
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance
October 15 was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. By the grace of God, my baby boy turned 10 months on that day, and my daughter decided she wanted to have a camping party for her upcoming third birthday. I have two beautiful children that I cherish with my whole being. But there was a time not very long ago when I wondered if I would ever be a mother.
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No Foot Too Small: Our Story of Losing Beau
As Ryan and I continue to share our journey, we are hopeful that others who have walked a similar path (or may do so in the future), find peace, strength, and encouragement. After reading our story, we’ll share with you our plan to give back and honor Beau along with other babies lost each year. So here goes:
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Why I Kept My Pregnancy Off Social Media
When my youngest child was born last year, many people didn’t know I was pregnant until after the baby had arrived. We did our best to keep news of the pregnancy on the down-low, even concealing the news from our children until 28 weeks. I posted no ultrasound photos on Facebook. We didn’t announce anything via an elated status update or tweet. There were no bump pictures on Instagram or maternity photo shoots scheduled.
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Fort Worth ::
Burying Babies: A Mother’s Nightmare
I remember it vividly. The doctor became excited, “Three! There are three!” My husband and I looked at each other, “Three what? Arms?” The doctor seemed happy enough. She then said, “I will never see this again in my career!” The words were worrisome, but her smile was comforting. We kept asking, “Three what?” She finally looked at me and said, “Three babies! Identical triplets!!
Jacksonville ::
Remembering Sydney
I bet most of you do not know that October is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This October 7th, I will be putting on something pink for the 52nd 7th of the month to honor my daughter, whom I lost on July 7, 2009. My life changed drastically at 2:54am that morning. I had had a healthy pregnancy, was 40 weeks pregnant on the dot, had just seen my doctor the week before, and everything looked good. Her room was ready, her closet was stocked better than her mother’s, and I was so excited and ready to have my daughter! I went into labor naturally at 5:00pm on July 6th, and we took appropriate steps to get me to the hospital when it was time.
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Knoxville ::
Miscarriage and Uncertainty Of What’s To Be
In April my husband and I unexpectedly found out we were pregnant with baby number three. I’ve always said I wanted two sets of kids close in age with a little gap in-between. My husband has been holding firm to the number three for quite sometime. Somewhere shortly after our second child we both rested firmly in that our number would in fact be three. But, when I looked at those two little pink lines, all I felt was an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Three children! And now?
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Finding A New Normal
Last May, my son died. We knew he was sick for 4 months, and that sooner or later – but probably sooner – he would die. Life forever changed. January 7th, 2013, marks the moment where my life forever changed. In what we thought was going to be our fun, find out the gender, 20 week ultrasound, we found out that our baby was very sick. The next day we visited the specialists who told us our baby had a rare chromosomal syndrome, Trisomy 18, and that it was fatal.
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Kansas City ::
Silent Grief
Next week will mark the day I’ve been dreading for nine months. It’s the day I was supposed to be meeting our second baby. Instead, my first ultrasound last March confirmed a baby but no heartbeat. A few weeks later, I went into the hospital pregnant and left drugged and empty. I didn’t understand miscarriage until it became part of my story. I didn’t know that all around me, women were a part of this secret club, bonded by a grief few on the outside seem to truly understand.
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When Does Motherhood Begin?
Everything about the timing of my first pregnancy seemed perfect. I had just completed grad school, we had recently moved out of a small apartment and into a house, and my due date was in February which meant I would not have to be nine months pregnant in the heat of summer. (I hate being hot, so this last part was more important to me than it probably should have been.)
Nashville ::
My Miscarriage Was NOT “Normal”
At first, I thought it was cancer. We all looked up at the glowing screen trying to make sense of the sonogram with all of its tricks and shadow— my husband, my wiggling toddler, the ultrasound tech, and I. There were four black, ominous circles staring back at us through the grey. They looked like fossils etched into a cave wall.
New Orleans ::
A Pregnancy Doesn’t Always Mean A Baby
You can read the miscarriage statistics. You can watch your friends experience the profound loss of a pregnancy. But I think most women carry a certain degree of separation and distance, unless it becomes their reality. I know I did. I was a mother of two healthy children and the veteran of two relatively easy pregnancies. When my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our third child in April of this year, I had many thoughts: unplanned! excited! a Christmas baby?!
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Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
You can’t believe your eyes; the test indicates that you’re pregnant. Your emotions are on overload. You cry, you laugh, and you can’t believe you are going to be a mother. Early on, you hear the baby’s heartbeat. Later you hold your husband’s hand at the ultrasound as you see a perfect little nose, ten tiny fingers and toes. You are buying newborn clothes, monogramming initials on blankets, and preparing the nursery for you little one’s arrival. You have contacted a photographer to have newborn pictures done to capture the baby’s first days of life. You feel the baby move and kick; each day it becomes more real that you will soon be a mother.
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My Chemical Pregnancy: The Pain of An Early Loss
Four days. I was only able to celebrate four short days. The morning I found out was the most exciting moment of my life. After praying and planning, I was pregnant. For as long as I could remember, I dreamed of being a mother, and that dream would finally become a reality. I told everyone right away. I bought a ridiculously expensive diaper bag. I started thinking of names. I bought my husband a Father’s Day card. I felt nauseous. I wrote my baby a letter. I had a spring in my step. Then, I started bleeding. I went to the hospital to confirm what I already knew: it was over before it even began. I wasn’t pregnant anymore.
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Quad City Moms Blog ::
Putting Make-up Back On :: Healing After A Stillbirth
I haven’t worn makeup for almost a month. In fact, the last day I did was Friday, January 3rd. It was the day of my ultrasound. I woke up extra early to have ample time to take a shower, curl my hair, and put on a full face of makeup- favorite color of smoky eye and all. My stomach was all butterflies, so any sign of exhaustion was nonexistent.
Tampa Bay ::
I’m Sorry Honey But There Is No Heartbeat
WHAT?! What did she say? I must have misunderstood her. I swallowed back a huge knot in my throat and desperately looked at my husband in hopes that I did not hear her correctly. She really meant to say there are three heartbeats. Anything would have been better than that. Sadly, I could see in my husband’s face the shock and hurt and I knew I heard her correctly. How could this happen to me? How did I go from complete euphoria to profound sadness, anger, confusion and utter pain? These feelings were intense and I wanted them to stop. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move.
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Twin Cities ::
You Are Still A Mother
I wish when my husband and I got married 3 years ago, someone had told me that starting and growing a family can be an incredibly difficult and painful journey. Instead, I felt incredibly ill-prepared for the journey we embarked on last year. In July of 2013, we discovered, unexpectedly, that I was pregnant; although we weren’t planning on starting a family quite so soon, we were trilled at the idea of welcoming a little one into the mix. But soon after, when I was just shy of 7 weeks, we miscarried our precious baby.
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These Babies Were Real, These Babies Were Loved
Eli & Webber. Those are my baby boys’ names. They each (separately) arrived too early. 20 weeks early in fact. If my body could have held on a little longer they might be here with us today at 7 and 6 years old. I would have had a house full of boys and I would have been fine with not having any girls. Then maybe no one would steal my makeup and jewelry. I would brush up on the rules of football and be lax on rough housing in the living room because boys are like that right?
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Pregnancy After Loss: When Hope Is Hard
Every night, I chew a baby asprin, swallow a few other pills/vitamins, then grab an ice pack, a princess band-aid (because that’s the only kind we have) and head to the couch. My husband gets a Lovenox shot and points to a spot on my belly – I ice, we wait, then it’s time for him to give me the dreaded shot. Sometimes, it’s not too painful. Other times, it’s just plain awful and the resulting bruises that cover my belly are such a representation of how my heart feels.
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It is our hope you find comfort in the words of these mamas, who have loved and lost. Virtual hugs go to those who are experiencing or have experienced loss such as this. Our hearts are with you!
